It Ended With A Griddle

It started innocently enough. "Mr. Turner, want to host our club?"

They asked politely. So far they'd proven to be good kids. I gave them a chance. "What kind of club is it?"

"The Lumberjack Club!" Both of them proclaimed in unison.

"And what exactly will the Lumberjack Club do?" I asked.

"Wear flannel, eat pancakes, and learn about lumberjacks," he said, then paused before adding, "but mostly eat pancakes. It's really about the pancakes."

How could you say no to that? So I agreed.

They kept me informed of the progress. "We've got people to bring in griddles, we'll get plates, forks, pancake mix, and syrup." They made a Facebook event and told me it was going to be a crowd. The created an excellent video promo for the club.



 Today was the day. Griddles and pancake mix and supplies were dropped of in waves over the course of the morning. A-block, done, B-block, done. The lunch bell rings and it's time for The LumberJack Club!

Five or six of the founders arrived and rearranged the furniture and set up a work space.

"I think we better just use two of the griddles," I said, "we have issues down here in the basement with breakers some time." So we plugged in two of the larger griddles and started mixing pancakes while they heated up.

Pop! (not a crazy loud dramatic pop mind you, just a little)

"Yep, that was the breaker. Give me a minute to get a master key and I'll reset it. But we better scale back to one griddle."

A trip upstairs for the key and a visit to the utility closet later and we were cookin'. Six cakes on the grill, two pitchers of batter, and a line of hungry, lumberjack-dressed teenagers waiting in a line.

Then I got the word from the teacher next door. "Did you have anything to do with the wireless being down? Because my entire lesson plan next period depends on it."

"Ooooooh. Maybe. I'll check."

Realizing I was over my head, I turned to my fellow Underground Teacher for help. Before we could search for a solution, I heard unwelcomed words. "There it goes again."

Twelve pancakes in and we'd blown breaker number two.

I reset the switch and headed off with Mr. Lindsay to the menacing "internet closet."

If networked buildings had real bowels, they'd look like this. Wires and boxes and blinking lights everywhere. We were lost. The only thing we knew for sure was that the blinking red light on the router meant nothing good.

I began to panic and just went back to try and hide in the middle of the fifty or so flannel-clad teens aimlessly waiting for pancakes in my classroom. Pancakes thirteen through eighteen had just been poured on the grill when I heard the custodian at the door.

"What is going on in here?" He looked genuinely surprised. I wished that I could offer him a pancake.

Innocently, I replied, "We're cooking pancakes?"

He seemed confused. What could be confusing about fifty kids in flannel, huddled around an electric griddle waiting on some pancakes?

"We've got fire alarms going off upstairs. You're setting off the heat sensors. We've been running around trying to figure out what's going on."

"Oh. Yeah, it's us. Just trying to make some pancakes."

"Are y'all done yet?" He was very polite, considering the circumstance.

"Do you need us to be?" I offered.

"Yeah, I think so. Let me use your phone to call upstairs to let them know what's happened."

Trifecta! We killed power, we killed internet, and yes, you guessed it, the phone was dead.

What's the moral of this story? The twenty-first century isn't ready for twenty-first century learning.

I created an open space for learning and allowed the students to engage in an activity of choice. I respected their comfort (what's more comfortable than flannel) and turned my room into a maker space (making pancakes is every bit as vital to society as making bridges) for them to collaboratively create. Their work had an authentic and immediate audience. And what was the result?

Absolute chaos! And mild disappointment. But no worries. The teenage lumberjacks, undaunted by setback, spent the remainder of lunch figuring out how to engineer LumberJack Club 2.0.

Good luck Lumberjacks! (and Lumberjackies)

APWATW (A picture is worth a thousand words). v 3

Add your own insightful or humorous caption for the image in the comments section.

The DC cheating scandal investigation widened this week when it was revealed Rhee's Karaoke  version of "I Will Always Love You"  was lip synced.

The Broadway version of Rhee's school reform proved a box office flop.

APWATW (A picture is worth a thousand words).

Add your own insightful or humorous caption for the image in the comments section.


"Little Barry already stood out among his peers by the 1st grade"

The kindergartners, angered at more standardized testing,  staged an impromptu sit in.

"This administration is determined to leave No Child Behind, except those already sitting behind me."

Numerically Speaking, Who is the Best?

It is actually a stupid question.  Most say it is Michael Jordan.  But there are a number of ways to determine the best basketball player of all time.  For some it depends on which number you look at.  Where a player ranks in terms of a particular statistical category is the usual measure.  Scoring, rebounding, assists, simple wins and losses, game winning shots or even number of championship rings.  Some move past this and direct focus on who could change a game or wanted the ball in their hands at the end of the game. 

Kobe, James, Jordan, Russell, Chamberlain and many others enter the conversation at various points.  Experts weigh whether it is even fair to judge players from different eras against each other.  The game changed.  For that matter whether it is even fair to compare players who play different positions as their roles are different.  Guards, centers all perform different jobs.  If a guard leads your team in rebounding, you've probably got issues.   

Student and even teacher excuses  can be more plentiful

Personally while I love college basketball, I've never really enjoyed the NBA and get a bit more into the NFL.  With the advent of Fantasy Football these conversations have taken on a new dimension.  Fantasy teams mean players are valued not for talent, heart or value to the team... but for how they stack up on the tally sheet.   Numbers can mislead you and as you stare at charts of player data.  Participants in fantasy leagues neglect the big picture and only look at stats.   Yards, points per game, supersede all else in a data driven world.  They can make you think a player is good when they are not and vice versa.  Like many the Underground has found enjoyment in this diversion.  We have become especially fond of pointing out the ineptitude of other basement member's fantasy squads.    This is a big week as we play each other.  No worries, I've got him covered. Not sure that's true but what is for certain is that fantasy sports have changed the way we watch the game and how we find enjoyment in sports.  The argument is less about who is the best and more about who had the best fantasy day.  Let's jump from athletics to education. 

As you are likely aware there are significant efforts to place a metric on the effectiveness of teachers.  The "game" has changed.   We worry less about who can teach and instead who has the best scores.  Politicians and reforms are using the obvious impact of teachers have on student performance as a reason to try and rate them using data.   Unable to affect change with what studies say is among the biggest factor, poverty ,they then go to teacher quality by default.   Out of their mouths flow phrases like "every child deserves to have great teachers" and that turns into some bastardized form of accountability.  The next step is to make some metric the measure of whether or not a teacher is effective.   Too often this is connected to some sort of test.   Having a score or number then somehow legitimizes your ability and skill as a teacher.  It quantifies your impact.  For me and the rest of Virginia's teachers, forty percent of my evaluation as a professional is taken from student growth.  I am fortunate it is not directly tied to a statewide test score as this approach seems to be incentivized by Race to the Top Funds,.... yet.  It is that way now.  But I foresee the day when that is not something I will be able to say.   While I've been wrong before concrete numbers matter.

To date, I have created my student goals and begun to plan on how to implement them but I am still not quite certain what or how I will use this to show growth without being too subjective.  I am choosing one measure of student growth related to our lifelong learner standards and their ability to write.  But because I grade this work it is invariably subjective.  Which leads us to the more objective method.  Standardized tests.  Sparing readers the indignity of why they are flawed as a true measure and far from ideal when it comes to telling whether or not someone can teach, I'll just say they are as misleading as fantasy points.   In fantasy football a player's team can build a big lead and that could actually hurt their point total.  Teachers are the most significant in-school piece to student learning and success but they are not the only piece and there is much out of and in school that plays a role. There's the motivational of students, desire to learn, attendance, class size, social incentives, socio-economic level, and school size all of which top a list that researchers constantly study and debate.  

These guys have taught me a lot

Teachers matter.  I know they matter a lot.  But other things matter too.  To attempt to objectively measure why one teacher might be better than another has the potential to prove as fruitful as an argument about who is the best NBA or NFL player.  And conceivably more pointless.  How much authentic learning goes unappreciated or is even replaced with narrow result oriented instruction?  The end result of this effort and energy does little to help me improve as a teacher and frankly I feel less supported.   Am I more inclined to narrow my approach to serve my goal(s)?  I hope not.   But the best way to measure me as a teacher is to be in the room with me while I teach.  Not once, but a lot. Still... improving teachers and learning by measures such as this is just that, a fantasy.  Thus it does little to improve the quality of education for students.  Maybe we should instead focus our attention on working to support all teachers and devote resources in their service, not to figuring out who is the "best".

A Message to Students Returning to School

I found this video yesterday, and I'm not sure who made it, but it is a funny and inspiring message for students as they return to school.

Some highlights:
"If you look at human history from like the time of the agricultural revolution, the period of time featuring compulsory public education looks like this...(250 years very short)"

"You'll also notice this 250 year period has been a pretty good one for humans, featuring Steam Engines, the internet, antibiotics, skyscrapers... and landing a freaking mini-Cooper on Mars!  This is not a coincidence."

 "Physical Education is NOT an oxymoron because your body was not born knowing how to do this...(picture of Olympic gymnast in action)

"The whole pleasure of being human is being STUPID, but learning to be less STUPID together."

"Public Education isn't a charity project, I pay for your school because I want you to grow up and make my life better."

"You've been chosen for a mission that's been denied to 99.9% of all humans ever."

It's four minutes long, but worth the time.  And if you missed yesterday's post, we're still hoping to hear more first day stories from you.

10 Ways to Avoid the Back to School Blues

It is that time of year again and proof that the passage of time is relative.  Summer months go by at least three times as fast as the ones during the school year.  What August really means is students and teachers are headed back to school.  This is often accompanied by an unmistakable decline in happiness.  Most teachers love their work and working with their students, but they are after all, human and it is work.

So a post to share proven ways to avoid the Back to School Blues is warranted.  A more fitting title of the post might be “Ways I distract myself from Going Back to School.”  The time frame for commencing such activities varies depending on the acuteness and severity of the anxiety and depression that seizes all teachers.   I recommend ignoring the encroaching deadline until the weekend before and then employing these measures with great haste, leaving little gap between them. 

My normal approach to avoid dealing with emotions would be to go fishing but as my children age, the guilt of being apart from them right before I go back to work gets the better of me.  So now I stay close to home but it could be argued I’m not spending time with them since I try to stay so busy.

Do Some Work

If you like me are a 10 month employee this has little appeal.  But easing into the first week might be useful since anyone and everyone who is a 12 month employee has spent the summer coming up with ideas for meetings to completely occupy the first week and keep you from your own classroom preparations.  Still, the prospect of  burning up your last precious few hours loses its appeal fast.

Watch a Movie
 We had some suggestions a while back but pick one you like.  Maybe revisit a movie from your youth(Goonies,  Karate Kid, Beverly Hills Cop…just from 1984).  If you have the time maybe screen all the Harry Potter films, Star Wars Episodes(Purists know there are only 3 real ones  Ep. IV, V, and VI).  Just steer clear of flicks like Prince of Tides, The Great Santini, The Champ, or Titanic.  Blah on the first and last one on that list.


Spirits

This is almost too obvious.   For centuries Western Civilization has used alcohol as a means of escape. There are some beautiful wineries in our area.  As I am of northern European descent I have always preferred Hops and Barley to Grapes but to each his own. This activity can be combined with a few others but one must be responsible. 

Cleaning

 I like to start with our vehicles. Give them that once a year wash and vacuuming.  Discovering once lost items under the seats is always uplifting.  Plus the extra cash from change pried from sticky cup holders and underneath the floormats will buoy spirits and wallets.   The main downside is the challenge presented by having two small children who deposit all manner of food stuffs amidst the car.  Approach this with a sense of wonder as it is true what they say about McDonald’s food not changing appearance after a few months. 

Exercise your Green Thumb

Want more corn kids?  Too bad.

Urban or rural most people can find some green space to tend to nearby.  If you keep a garden it is a great time to make the most of what remains.  This summer has been tough on agriculture and my corn crop was no exception.  Taking out some frustrations on the squash bugs offered an outlet and I felt much better after disposing of a dozen or so with my flip flop.  I also mowed the lawn, ran the weedeater, and pulled some crab grass from the mulch. Seeing as this is weather dependent, you'll need an alternative. Something like a visit to the supermarket and a good imagination might suffice.

Take  a Dip

In this diversion we took a trip to the pool where my sister lives. It is a beautiful farm in the western part of the county.  The view of the Blue Ridge Mountains made it  hard to pout.  The only down side was when we went to retrieve Spiderman from the skimmer we found the corpse of a large rodent…likely a vole.  The resident Jack Russell took care of the remnants.  We also took advantage of the county’s local park and ran over to the beach park where I snuck in a few casts.  We topped it off by heading next door for a visit to the lowest maintenance kind of pool, the next door neighbor’s.

Try to Figure Out the Last Episode of Lost Again

I’ve never really felt we covered this topic in sufficient depth on TU, maybe some day. 

Hit the Links

The TU got together for our Biannual golf outing at the famed Old Course at Meadow Creek Golf Course.    This was planned the week we got out but sponsors pulled their endorsements so we had to re-schedule.  We both play the lauded Wilson Tour Model II Irons.  Turner plays a more modern game while I prefer a more traditional one, favoring the wooden drivers I’ve had since I was 14.   The pace was painfully slow as we were locked in behind the Havercamps.   
The delays gave us plenty of time to chat at the tee box and plan some mischief for the upcoming schoolyear.  Toward the end of the round we picked up a 3^rd player in a recent UVA Law School Graduate.  Despite his skill and the orange Hummer he arrived in we summoned all our hacker skills to quickly best him on our first hole together.  We out drove(with the persimmon wood mind you) him and then posted birdie and par raising the banner for underpaid educators everywhere.   Settling back in our unmatched skill level we completed the round somewhere near the century mark.  Later in the week I headed to Putt Putt and remembered that it is indeed fun for the whole family.  Especially when you are beating them all on your way to a 1over par.  That would have been lower had I not been distracted by my son whose first golf experience was highlighted by trips into the water hazard on the 17^th.  

Pick Out Your Outfit

This will be more fun for those into clothes but the first day back with colleagues you want to look, cool, casual and still sporting your summer attire.  When students return you’ll need to look sharp and send the message you mean business.  For ladies pants suits, dresses and the like…for guys back to school means new sneakers.

  

Hang Out with Family

This seems like the perfect option.  Family first I always say.   But if both of you are experiencing the stress and feelings since you both work in schools, beware!  This can be a volatile scenario. 

Back to School is coming whether you like it or not.  The Olympics are over and the awful part of the political season is on the horizon.  We can’t stop time but we can make the most of it.  Unless of course you live on some weird moving island that has these stations and a big wagon wheel in a cave that affects the passage of time.  Who are we kidding, the end is near.  All you have to do is meet the year with the same sense of wonder and anticipation as you did your first year.  If you aren’t excited when those students start showing up and  you don't feel those butterflies on Day 1, well then, you need professional help.  More than a hastily authored blog post can provide. 

Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well.
Buddha

Pauper's Wisdom

Knowing your are not smart allows for a keen insight to the world around you.  The time and mental energy wasted in trying to apprehend day to day events and happenings can be focused elsewhere on things like grading or connecting current events to curriculum.   If not there this energy can be used in other pursuits such as watching TV or fishing.  The true benefit of accepting your own ignorance is you are always on the lookout for people who "get it" and are primed to absorb their words to make yourself smarter.  Why beat a path through the woods when you can fall into the slipstream of great minds.

Learning me a book.  Smart People should learn some too.

That involves reading stuff from smart people.  The beneficial side effect is you end up reading a lot which I suppose counteracts the not so smart thing.   When that is not possible reading helps provide a clarity of thought when you are immersed knee deep in what you are thinking about.  In this case, school.    Finding readings that deal with teaching is a constant challenge and usually a further drain on an already depleted mental energy reserve.  They tend to be heavily laden with either speculative conclusions or are far too academic to be of much use.  So instead I sometimes delve into material concerning the state of teaching and education in general.  Seems quite a few of these author's conceal the fact they have little to do with or background in.... wait for it..., education.  A diverse range of views is usually helpful but one realization is that there are an abundance of these smart people out there who don't "get it."  I have found identifying them here in our semi-satirical effort fulfilling and perhaps gratifying in a not so healthy way. 

It is a far simpler effort to find things from people I disagree with.    They are everywhere.  I suppose most people feel this way but I am a remarkably agreeable individual.  This healthy pool of folks that are too smart for their own good are not shy with sharing their views and worse imposing them.  Be it a result of group think, strategic dynamism, or just poor judgement it seems far too easy for smart people to behave in not so intelligent ways when dealing with or directing education.  Think of it as Daniel Snyder running his NFL team.  The results are not always good.   I define this as whenever they do something I disagree by the way.   I like to justify this with my "pauper's wisdom".  Not so much granted by financial depravity(Teachers like to harp on the fact we have this) but by a foundation of understanding granted by remaining "just a teacher," feet firmly planted in the classroom with my students. I am poor in knowledge of the theoretical world of education but rich from time spent face to face with students actually learning.

I am not omniscient and know my views should not always be seen as correct.  I make mistakes and am wrong about plenty of things.   My station in life has taught me listen to help avoid this whenever possible.  I also know decision makers are far too confident in their own actions and don't listen enough.   I don't always like what I hear but the only way a not so smart individual like myself can navigate this landscape is to try and find some humor in it all.   Oh...and read a bunch.

Videos are also good.

Reasons vary as to why people look to misguided interlopers rather than trusted and seasoned professionals. 


So here are some things I liked that made me both smarterer and also smile.

The Disaster Capitalism Curriculum: The High Price of Education Reform (Episode I)

The Education Bubble

The Funny Business of Education

Up Up and Away

The end of the school year is always a season of change.  Refrains by the Byrds or David Bowie, both convey how change is as constant as the passage of time.  The basement weathers this phenomenon too as the faces shift and change with the school years.  We ourselves are relatively new having only been fixtures for a decade and a half give or take.  The TU sees the basement as blend of cool and unwanted.  It appears the basement is unwanted as this year we are saying goodbye to one of our own who has chosen to willingly depart.  It does happen, but not that often.  In truth this guy has kind of always been an interloper.    But in time he became like one of us, an oddball that fit in below ground.

In most cases people leave the basement with good reason.  Retirement, transfer, quitting, school realignment and even mental illness have taken staff from our midst. But it is rare for anyone to just "up" and leave.  So we thought it worthwhile to talk a little more about the basement and explore the rationale within the mind of one who chooses to leave. 

The steps to the basement circa early 1970s

Throughout its storied history the basement seems to have been predominantly male.  It has also been occupied to a large degree by history classes.  Up until recently, math shared the space, but no more.    The six rooms, all about equal size are all now social studies classrooms.  One room has an  small office(or antechamber if you are a spelunker), mostly for storing dust and mold.  There's also a pair of bathrooms and a set of small utility closets just for looks.

 The basement has always been as much a state of mind as a place.  Students and teachers just seem more laid back when in the basement.  Life happens a beat slower. But that is not to say nothing goes on.  It has a storied history which those of us who remain are proud continue. The same teacher that gave me the low grade I deserved in the early 1990s as a student, hired both members of the TU a short time later.  Since then we've taught with a handful of staff members who thought better of the location and moved on. Reasons vary but several left the profession(coincidence?) and others left the area while two longtime teachers retired.

Roger MacBride

Some pretty amazing stuff happens in the basement.  Beyond the amazing teaching(shameless self promotion) and antics, a government class once hosted the famous 1972 "faithless elector".  We've been visited by state officials, housed sports banquets, been flooded, had Friday hall parties, witnessed the exceedingly rare student altercation, seen chair races, featured a rousing game of wallball, offered shelter from tornadoes, endured earthquakes and countless foreign language class dances above (all of the last three are actually indistinguishable from each other.)  Doing the math, the TU members alone have taught about 3500+ students.  That would mean that in that same time there have been roughly 10,500 students who have taken a class down here.  So why would anybody leave?

Our departing colleague may simply feel more welcome or happier above ground.  He may not like the smell, mold, humidity, lack of sunlight, creatures, or secluded feeling.  We remind him of the smells above ground that await him on the American Studies Hall.  Maybe it was just time for a change.  He could hate us.  All interesting theories.  We think we know the real story.  Beginning several months back this individual began an all juice fast and has not been himself since.  While he has lost weight, claims to feel rejuvenated and generally seems healthier, we've seen some different side effects during lunch.

We do the same thing everyday.  "Don't drive angry."

Gone are the discussions about best practices, eliminating poverty, and the joys of teaching.  Replaced by incessant banter about beets, kale, and rutabaga.  While not so bad at first it now feels like we are imprisoned on the set of Groundhog Day.  The vibrant, intelligent, driven man is no more and all that remains is the shell of an individual who's brain has perhaps turned to mush...or juice. That said, he is a great teacher and will be missed.  Even though he will just be upstairs, it won't be the same.

The faces may change, but the basement remains the same. 

As he goes to seek refuge above ground or simply on a quest in search of something greater among the wilds and light of the upper world, we wish well and offer these words; 

"Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

Mmm....Yeah."

God speed John Glenn.

Education: How do You Measure Up?

Photo Credit:M. Hankins

How many kids have you helped?  One hundred?  One thousand?  Ten thousand?  Last week our school lost someone who arguably has done more for kids(and teachers) than anyone else at the TU put together.  A real legend.  His name was Gus.  Um...actually it was Gus 2 but we aren't actually sure if there was a Gus 1 so the number after his name just seems unnecessary.  Like when you talk about the Superbowl people assume it is the one that just happened or the one coming up.

Mr. Hand wasn't such a bad guy.

Speaking of super... You may recall the mimeograph machine of your youth that students adored. Reason being that beloved scent and euphoria when copies came fresh and warm.   It is a lost reference to those too young to remember the scene in Fast Times at Ridigemont High(how'd that get left off our teacher movie list?).  I vaguely remember them but for some odd reason my short term memory has always been weak.

Teaching was hard labor

I do remember doing my student teaching at a tiny rural school here in VA that it would be fair to say was a bit behind cutting edge.  The copy machines there were still hand cranked.  The purple ink they used ruined all of the dress shirts  I owned in college(all 5). The school was built in 1939 and not equipped with the luxury of "conditioned air." That made the prospect of making copies in that 3rd floor copy room  and the amount of effort involved far less appealing.    So when I arrived at AHS I appreciated Gus that much more. 

 While mimeographs historically have captured more attention from generations of ink heads, Gus and his risograph friends were the workhorse of the fleet laboring away with little thanks.  As advertised he provided "productivity and cost-savings"...and was a " fast and reliable printing solution... designed for highspeed production."  Day after day, week after week, year after year.  Gus was a superstar.  To me he rose to almost mythic status and helped me help kids.  His rhythmic cadence was hypnotic and oddly soothing.  He never complained or got grumpy when you need copies five minutes before class.  He never worried about copyrights.  Sure he had breakdowns but he never took a personal day or even a field trip.  He just sat in one place and made the copies.  A lot of copies. 



Gus was around for some time.  He must have been to make 5.1 million copies. (26 tons)(over 900 miles) (1615 feet high: Empire State Building=1473) (950 copies every schoolday for 30 years)

Photo Credit:M. Hankins

Pause this evening and consider if your efforts measure up to that.  So as he moves on to that ...that...well to wherever they take old copy machines, TU pauses to salute Gus 2.  Rest easy old friend.  Well done sir.  Well done. 

Creating Energy in the Classroom

No matter how important you think what you are saying is, it is not nearly as important as you think.  Reminders of this are frequent and often unexpected.  This time of the year most teachers are focused on the impending test season.  APs, SOLs and other acronyms loom in the not so distant future and we are all trying to convey a degree of gravity appropriate for the setting.

That sets the stage for the reminder I received in class the other day.  My students were viewing a video and completing a set of questions while I graded their just completed quizzes.  I was pointing out some of the more significant details when a young lady near my desk leaped from her seat.

Based on her body language it was clear there was some sort of insect harassing her.  This is fairly common in the basement and I am not bothered much by bugs or any other creature for that matter.   Plus I grew up watching The Electric Company and am quite familiar with Spiderman who was in the best part of the show.  I usually try to remove pests quickly to the breezeway as opposed to using my foot to stomp them. This helps minimizes disruptions to the class and makes me look cool. Or it is intended to anyway.   Most of the time the mustache bugs, ants, bees, skinks and mole crickets cooperate with little resistance.

I only count 6

Imagine if you will, the scene where a bee buzzes at the ceiling lights.  No matter what you tell your students about ignoring it, the proximity to them and the frantic movements manage to disrupt the class until you remove it.  So this was affecting learning and I meant to fix the situation.  I wouldn't have this in my class and I wouldn't be bested by any insect. I am a survivalist afterall.  I qualify as such since after run ins with the previously mentioned critters, I survived.  With all eyes on me I went into action. 

After inquiring and gaining intel on the "huge" spider I chose to apprehend the offender with some tissues, Puffs I believe.  I rounded the corner of my desk and inspect the meeting of the wall and floor for my quarry.  As I approached something horrific came into view.  It was a spider and it was in fact huge.  Feeling like the guy with the knife at the gunfight, I quickly reassessed my choice of equipment.  I grabbed a cup from my Feudalism M&Ms simulation and re-engaged my foe.

The Southern House Spider...and her kids.

As I approached, the spider seemed to grow even larger and lifted its front legs in defiance.  I bravely and calmly worked to capture the beast which had now gotten the attention of every student and roused many of them from their desk for a closer look.  As if watching a car crash from which they couldn't look away.  I scooped, and into the cup went the spider.

Wow!  It was a bit bigger than a silver dollar and had an abdomen the size of a super ball.  Using the tissues to keep it in the cup I glanced beneath them just as the spider jumped nearly six inches to freedom.  I watched it hit the floor and scurry beneath a bookbag.  Frustrated I looked at the cup and to my horror it was crawling with small spiders.  Worse yet a dozen or so had begun to move up my arm.

Immediately I did what any seasoned outdoorsman worth their salt would do.  I screamed like a little girl and flung my arm back and forth.  This did little to help the situation.  In my panic I had scattered baby spiders about the room and onto students.

My bad. 

So now the class was in complete disarray and the students varied in their response.  Some were frozen on their chairs in panic, some scurried behind their desks and some still ran to get a closer look.

Spiderman indeed

OK. This was getting bad.  I had to save myself...I mean the students. "Once more unto the breech dear friends, once more" I thought.  I steadied myself and grabbed the bookbag to reveal the legged terror. Swiftly as it fled towards the bookshelf, I corralled it into the cup and wasted no time heading out the door, leaving the students howling behind me.   The sound from the cup will forever haunt me as the legs scratched for escape.  I showed the capture to my fellow Underground Teacher only to have it escape again.  My struggle getting it back into the dixie-cup trap left more small spiders scattered about the hallway floor.

After a short captivity this noble Spider mom found a new resting place in the forsythia bush near the stairwell featured on our page. I returned to the room and for the rest of the period tried my best to get the students back on track.  I had better luck controlling the spider.

Virginia Snow

AHS with some snow, we had school that day

 I have always appreciated living in central Virginia. We have the best of all things here and Charlottesville is routinely listed among the top places to live in the country(I do not think that is a good thing). Our weather is a good example.  I am a native but must admit that both parents arrived from northern latitudes.    So snow is in my blood.  It is no big deal to me.  But snow around here means total insanity.   Bread and milk fly off from shelves at an alarming rate.  Students in class lose all self control when they see the white flakes coming down.  The carnage and disabled vehicles along the shoulder of the road looks similar to a scene from Mad Max, only everything is white instead of brown.

Just park that anywhere.

Two years ago when "snowmageddon" struck I am pretty sure that I witnessed several scenes reminiscent of Lord of the Flies.  Heavy snow pretty much shuts the place down.  Worse than that is when we get  just a few inches.   The typical southern driver get overconfident and seems to think their SUV can go as fast as they want with impunity.  Watching people slam on the brakes when things get slippery is so comical it is not funny.    What really gets things going around here is when snow is in the forecast.  The news and media spin everyone up into a frenzy and people prep for some sort of pending invasion.  I think our northern neighbors find it quite amusing.  

My dog Otter "swims" through 2+ feet of snow

But it is not all bad.  Once in a great while Mother Nature will decide to play a trick.  Such was the case this morning.  After a long night of grading papers I turned in around 12:30 AM and as I did I checked the weather online.  A clipper system was predicted to push south of us and maybe drop an inch or two in nearby counties.  Any snow would turn to rain after a brief period.  We were predicted to get only "snow showers".

At 5:54AM when the county's automated system called to announce a 2 hour delay I took the dog outside and there was not a flake in the air.  We received the second call at 7:51AM to announce school was canceled we had about 2 inches.  By the time I had the kids bundled up and we went outside it was up to 8 inches.  As a teacher I must say the unexpected snow day is a beautiful thing.  Sure it throws a wrench in SOL testing schedules,  makes it tough for parents who have to work, fouls up countless plans that hinge on a Red/Blue Day cycle and we will likely have to make it up.  But a surprise snow day brings a euphoric response among teachers and kids alike.  A welcome diversion and break from the routine, at least for the TU.

Should we expect a few more snow days?  Who knows.  I would have preferred this one back in January but I am not complaining.   That in like a lion thing sure seems true so far.  This month involves a lot of change.  March has reminded us that the weather can be pleasant, unpredictable and sadly sometimes violent and deadly.  But today at least it brings a welcome respite.   I am not worried about school related matters and instead will enjoy one the best things about being a teacher.   So to all the teachers across the south where it doesn't snow and all the northern ones out there where snow is routine, I send my condolences.      I'm off to take a nap and make some microwave popcorn.

Friday Afternoon Inspiration- Redux

I know this isn't the normal stuff of the Teaching Underground, but yesterday I shared a video of the "Reading Rainbow" intro at the end of my post. It seemed too good to be coincidence that I ran across a similar video just today. I couldn't help but share. Another great Jimmy Fallon parody- Jim Morrison and The Doors cover "Reading Rainbow."

Movies about Teaching(or just schools in some way)

Action, Romance, Sci-Fi, and Musical are among the dozens of movie genres listed on the IMDB website.  The TU feels compelled to argue for the inclusion of at least one more.  Teacher Movies.  Movies about teaching, like the profession, defy simple explanation.  Yet perhaps they like no other medium convey what the job can really be like.  If you watch all these  simultaneously...maybe then you'd get a glimpse into the average teacher's day.  In a world where teachers no longer have any allies, sometimes a movie about what you do can get you through.

We are no Siskel and Ebert but we do watch a lot of movies.  Ergo, we are experts.  In no particular order here is the not so  anticipated Teaching Underground list of definitive Teacher movies with contributor commentary included.  Enjoy. 

Feel free to add your own favorites in the comments section

Stand and Deliver(1988)

Lindsay’s take:

Jaime Escalante, are you serious?  Could he have been more awesome?  Edward James Olmos does an amazing job portraying one of the most inspiring teachers ever.  I got past the comb-over and really admire that Escalante for the difference he made in kids lives.  I never took Calculus but bet I could learn a great deal from him.  He died last year and TU tips its cap to him and this movie.  By the way Lou Diamond Philips has been in more movies than anyone, ever.

Turner's take: 
I was young enough to confuse Olmos' role in this film with his role in Miami Vice.  Pretty confusing.  I did learn the power of expectations from this film.  But we sometimes only take half of the formula from this film.  The expectations alone didn't make those kids succeed.  They worked hard.  I like that the film emphasizes how much learning is about a relationship between students and teachers.

Chalk(2006)

Lindsay’s take:

"Real Teaching Leaves a Mark"  Perhaps the most unappreciated of the films on our list.  Morgan Spurlock's  “Office” style film was oh so close to completely nailing it.  Honestly it is probably the most realistic movie.  But I was left wanting a little more follow through with some of the humor in the story.  But if you are a teacher, you HAVE to watch it.  Ignore what offends and just laugh at the stupidity of half of what we endure.  You can almost get a sense of the terror when things go south.

Turner's take: 
My favorite teacher movie!  I completely relate to the first year teacher in this film.  Perhaps my only criticism of the movie would be that they had to plant hidden cameras in my school to gain so much inside information on it.  Either that or we have more similarities than we think among public schools.  From what I've read, this movie was actually made by teachers on a ten thousand dollar budget.  Well worth it.

“You’re a horrible teacher”  “Well you would know cause you’re a horrible student”

Lean on Me(1989)

Lindsay’s take:

Morgan Freeman does what he always does.  And he makes the arrogant but admirable Joe Clark jump off the screen.  I am glad I don’t work for Clark.  But this movie is deep.  What lies beneath?  State takeovers, school reform, racial and economic disparity, failing schools…it was there all along.  Why didn’t I see it?  Clearly I’ll have to go back and watch this one again through the lens of a teacher in today’s world.  Moral of this movie:  Bull Horns = Respect  Oh and know your schools alma mater, or else.  

Turner's take:
Morgan Freeman patrolling the halls with a baseball bat.  That's all I've got to say. 

Mr. Holland’s Opus(1995)

Lindsay’s take:

Now I subbed for a music teacher when I first started and it was nothing like this movie.  #1 Dreyfus isn’t crazy and all band teachers have to be crazy.  Certifiable.  #2 Siskel and Ebert gave it two thumbs up.  This film came out as I was finishing up my education and I realized at some point while watching that hey…teaching? That can be pretty amazing stuff.  (I was naïve)   Funny how Holland “fell” into  teaching.  Not sure I did either.  That’s about where the similarities end.  Gotta admit being a little creeped out by the whole Rowena situation and bummed when I found out Louis Russ died.  Full range of emotions, I give it two thumbs in the ear. 

Turner's take: 
I think the value of this film is the understanding the importance of "non-academic" subjects in education.  It also shows just how different the tasks of teaching are from one subject area to the next.  Other than that, I've got to admit, it isn't one of my favorites.

Dead Poet’s Society(1989)

Lindsay’s take:

I ‘m not ever sure what this movie was actually about.  But it was really good.  Man Mork did a great job.  And when they stood on that desk at the end.  Enough to make a shy kid like I was at the time pick a fight with a bully.  I think that every teacher is required to stand on their desk at least once in their career.   Wait…he got fired?    I really can't explain why I haven't been then.  “Oh Captain,  my captain!”

Turner's take:
Usually I stand on my desk when I need to bang on the ceiling to get the language teachers upstairs to quiet down.  But, this movie showed that education is really about growing into one's self much more than filling a brain with facts. 

"Carpe Diem"

Ferris Bueller;s Day Off(1986)

 Lindsay’s take:

Maybe, just maybe the most culturally significant.  They just don’t seem to write characters like this anymore.  Ferris, Cameron, Sloane, Mr. Rooney and everyone’s favorite Ben Stein as everyone's favorite  “Economics teacher”.  Required joke at some point in every class is the line “Bueller, Bueller”  The experts throw in "Anyone? Anyone?  Voodoo economics.”   This film is about one man’s struggle to take it easy…our crafty protagonist gets through it all and beats the system and shows what can really happen when you take a day off from school.  This movie is dangerous.  Basically a guidebook to fool parents.  It should be banned.  I am glad it is not because it features my all time favorite actress Mia Sara who plays Sloane(who I maybe had a crush on then)   If Mia reads maybe she’ll find my E-mail on here…just saying.   I always felt bad for Cameron and not sure I really liked Ferris.  Maybe I should only feel bad for Mr. Rooney?  Or Charlie Sheen who really stretched himself as an actor in this one playing someone whacked out on drugs.

"You still Here?  It’s over. Go Home.  Go.”

Turner's take:
"Save Ferris!"  A parent told me just the other day that she'd given her son permission to miss a week of school to go skiing in Colorado with some friends.  He's a good kid, good grades, works well with others, etc.  She felt a little guilty, but I would do the same thing.  Now sometimes a kid skipping school or parents letting them do it is just irresponsible.  But sometimes a little break from the routine can turn into quite a life shaping experience.  Just ask Ferris.

The Breakfast Club(1985)

Lindsay's take:

“Hey Hey Hey Hey  oooooooooo  Oh……….”(Click to Play)

This movie like that song help me escape back to a time when life wasn’t so complicated.

Can a movie end any better?  This is the oldest film on our list and as a pre-teen in 1985 this was one of  those John Hughes’ films that potentially changed lives.  Not sure how but that doesn’t matter.  Anthony Michael Hall was and probably still is one of my biggest idols.  At the time I am not sure I got have the humor in here but I laughed none the less.   For the serious among you take this as a cautionary tale about leaving kids unsupervised.  For the not so serious they never actually ate breakfast…hmmm?  

Turner's take:
This film made me think that I definitely wanted Saturday detention when I got to high school.  It's easy to forget how much emotional baggage we carry as teenagers.  Watching a film like this every now and again helps put you back in that place and hopefully understand that some of the things about teenagers that we find trite and silly are really significant markers in their lives.

Billy Madison(1995)

Lindsay’s take:

A good escape and I am pretty sure it is a true story.   Sandler movies are well Sandler movies but perhaps no other film collapses the process of education so well(really?).  Chris Farley does his thing and too many one liners to recount.

There is for me no greater line in filmaking than when during the academic decathalon the following is spoken by the judge.   As a tennis coach and fan, Bridgette Wilson gives me yet another reason to appreciate Pete Sampras. 

Turner's take: 
I know it's from a different film, but I'm so glad that Sandler refers to the Medulla Oblongata in The Waterboy.  My psych students remember it so much better because of it.  As silly as the film is, watching a grown person invade the life of school kids at least makes you think about the reason and purpose of education in the first place.

Honorable Mention  that we considered
School of Rock 
Dangerous Minds
   Coolio's best song

To Sir with Love
   (before our time)
Freedom Writers
   (never saw it...too artsy?)

High School Students

They say the darndest things. Art Linkletter and Bill Cosby usually dealt with younger subjects than we do but working firsthand with students in high school you gain some invaluable insights.   Get a sense of things by watching the clip below.  So after reading all the evidence in favor of Value Added...just watch this and maybe you'll understand how we can sometimes feel.      :)  

Don't read too much into this.  It's obviously meant to be funny.

As we enjoy an occasional laugh at their expense we must be able to laugh at ourselves.  We keep in mind how much we love our jobs and the opportunity to work with our students.  Oh and we too have been known to say the darndest things.

An Unappreciated Metaphor for Education

I might fall from a tall building,

I might roll a brand new car.

'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star.

Steve Austin probably ended up a CEO.

That's how Lee Majors opened his show "The Fall Guy" in the early 1980s.    His role as the "unknown stuntman" was not as well known as when he played The Six Million Dollar Man, but the TU agreed at lunch the other day The Fall Guy was among his finest works. Majors played Colt Seavers on the show and the theme song has earned him a place as an honorary TU member.  Why you ask?  Because he seems to share the unappreciated feeling all too common among today's teachers.   You may have read Teacher Underground: A Metaphor for Education where we used H.R. PufnStuf to explain the players in the spectacle that is education.  Thinking a bit about The Fall Guy might also lend some clarity and insights to the current state of our profession. 

Colt Seavers, Can it get more American?

We all have a little Colt in us where we feel like we do all the work and and no one sees or appreciates those efforts.  Teachers seem to be an easy mark for reformers and politicians intent on the appearance of movement.  Teachers have become the fall guy for all the problems we face.  They seem intent on laying any blame for the shortfalls of education and students on the teachers.  If you spend time following national, state and even local policy you know that bashing teachers and their level of professionalism seems to be all the rage.  Removing bad teachers is a key element to many strategic plans to improve education. There doesn't seem to be much thought as to how that determination is made or what else affects outcomes.  Bottom line is that type of negative rhetoric is unwelcome to most educators and does little to help motivate or inspire.  A leader that can change that would go a long way.   

Some people and groups have always devalued the importance of teachers.  But those who do so today are all too common.  They criticize the teaching workforce by pointing out where we graduated, the rigor of the training prior to employment and also teachers themselves for gaining employment in a field deemed not that competitive.  By far the biggest target is tenure.  They say annual contracts are all that teachers deserve.   Need to tighten the budget, fire some teachers.  Basically those that want to help have decided saying teachers aren't good enough is the way to make things get better.  If that is their goal I don't think they are doing a very good job of making our field very attractive to the higher caliber individuals they seek to recruit.  Come work for low pay, little job security where efforts seem unrecognized.  Apply within.

Cousin Howie, Colt Seavers and Jodi

Meanwhile the teachers of America do what they do.  Like the character Seavers, we grind away at our jobs and stand by while others talk about it under the spotlight.  That doesn't bother us, we signed up for that.  We are fine with that and even take pride in it.  But having someone then stand up and say we are doing a crappy job hurts.  Much like the bumps and bruises common in stuntman work.  Colt no doubt had to swallow his pride and watch some major stars take all the credit, knowing that stuntmen were an afterthought and seen as expendable.    We know how Colt must feel when we hear a leader stand and spend more time trumpeting a program like TFA, where members are trained in weeks, often temporary, and enrolled for different reasons and less time on lifelong teachers.

What A-Team van?

Another parallel with The Fall Guy, he found himself in financial hard times(remember the early 1980s recession?) and had to supplement his income by becoming a bounty hunter.  He turned to riding around and jumping his GMC Sierra Grande over stuff to apprehend bail jumpers with his cousin(Douglas Barr) and fellow stunt person Jodi(Heather Thomas).  He found a way to make ends meet.  His job was perhaps more exciting but teaching is no less unpredictable.  Financial challenges are often not unfamiliar to teachers and many are forced to seek additional employment to make ends meet.  We didn't take the job for the money but it is a job and we expect to get paid.  Whether film-making or education, any system where people who work the hardest seem to get paid the least is pretty backward.  Oh well Colt never whined about it.    

Major's sang "I've died for a living in the movies and TV" and I think he's saying he has a passion for what he does.  The good teachers I know share that trait in working with their students.  We learned we need to have thick skin to endure.  For the stuntman this is true in a literal sense and for the teacher it means you have to be willing to give of yourself when at times no one, not even your students, seem to appreciate your efforts.   There will be some nights when you question whether you're going to make it.  But like Seavers, you'll show up the next day and give your all.  We love what we do.  When the credits roll at the end of a film or when the names are read at graduation, we take some pride in a job well done.   We are used to feeling unappreciated but let's not take that too far...OK?

Lee, next time you or some unappreciated teachers are in town, swing by and join us for lunch.