Friday, September 30, 2011

Lessons Teachers Learn in Their First Month of Teaching

So your first weeks of teaching are wrapping up.  At times you've struggled to recall why you became a teacher.  But in the past few weeks no doubt you and your students have learned a great deal already.  Still nothing could ever have prepared you for the past month.  The lessons learned are too numerous to recount.  So the TU will recount ones that people might find humorous.

#1 To survive as a teacher you cannot be bothered by having people call your name at least 100 times a day.

#2 You have become aware that anything you draw or sketch on the board will, to those entering the room or when you look at it later, resemble either a body part or an obscene act.

#3 Despite claims to the contrary and the fact you cannot admit it publicly there are actually stupid questions.

#4 Regardless of how bad you have to use the can in fact hold it.

#5 The last 5 minutes of class only take about 30 seconds.

#6  No matter how smart a student is they will require a minimum of 5 minutes to pack up their book bag at the end of class.  Efforts to delay them from doing so are seen as quite rude.

#7  Chewing Gum can be used to make a surprising variety of sounds.

#8 Teachers new to the profession must realize quickly that they teach students, not a subject.  Fail to learn this and odds quickly turn against you surviving.

#9 Kids may not even be able to spell their own name but are quick to point out your errors on worksheets or on the board.

#10 At least one student in your class will enjoy drumming.  The band plays at all times by the way.  When they arrive, moment of silence, while you talk, during a quiz...the beat must go on.


  1. #11. When all of your students are laughing and you can't figure out what's funny... it's probably you.

    #12. When the tenth kid in the last ten minutes asks to go to the restroom and you say no because you've "got to put a stop to this"... that's the one kid that really needed to go.

    #13. Directions are made to be repeated, not followed.

  2. #14. By the end of the first month your immune system has taken all that it can take and you'll catch everything that comes in the door for the next five months. And...

    #15. Too bad for you, it's easier to go to school sick than to plan for a sub.

  3. #16. Lessons Plans...yep... Lesson Plans. They don't seem as important as they did during student teaching.